A Letter to My Soon-To-Be

It’s not yet time,
But I can feel your promise in the gravities of me,
Like the winter wind down the hill,
I can hear your life whistling,
On its way.

I don’t want to wait to love you,
I don’t know if I can.

So for now I will love you with my Saturday night dreams.
I will love you by loving him,
The one who will give you those sweet, squinty eyes,
& the freckles on your shoulders,
& that laugh that gives rest to a weary heart.

I will grow gentle for you,
I will learn to listen,
I will strengthen my hands,
To brush the knots from your wild curls,
& hold you for hours, lullabying you to slumber.

I will make room for you,
In my body,
In my heart,
In my living,
& seek to understand,
that the ones who give away everything,
are the ones who gain everything.

I will share with you,
My longings,
My stories,
My troubles,
My grace.

I will heal for you,
So that my wounds may stop at me,
You won’t make it unscathed,
But Love will shield you from what I can not.

You will cost us.
Dollars,
Tears
Wrinkles
& pieces of our hearts.

But I will count all as loss,
All as insignificant,
When your soft skin
Reaches in, to hug my heart
& soften all the ways the world has hardened me.

Your love will make me sweeter, my Soon-To-Be.